A Skinnier Her

Woke up sooo tired and just wanted to cuddle in bed. But I got it together and hit the gym. I FELT GREAT AFTeR!!! Seriously exercising is just the secret to a good mood… no kidding. Eating was pretty easy today. I just need to think about every single thing before I put it in my mouth. What is it doing nutritionally? Am I really hungry? How is this going to make my body feel? Good questions to ask before I eat something. I also find the time I most want to eat more than I should is right after I finish eating some food. It’s a satisfaction thing for sure. I just have to force myself to wait a few minutes to let my body feel the energy and digestion from that food and the feeling passes! I just need to practice being calm as my anxiety is definitely the cause of my eating disorder.

Intake 340 cal - 400 burn = -60 net

Not bad lol.. and I’m not hungry much either. Might treat myself to a decaf latte or something :)

xoxox

So this is the biggest I’ve been since I first started losing weight two years ago. I’m around 130 pounds and not so fit! I think I look attractive still but what’s reallllllly bugging me is my habits. I have binge eating disorder. And I really want to over-come it. Its ruining my days and shifting my focus off of whats really important. It’s to the point where I’m out with others and I’m so focused on what I’m going to shove in my face next its like they aren’t even there. I have so many great things going on in my life righ tnow and having a healthy body and mind would just make it so much better. 

My goal is to lose about 5 lbs and to put on a bunch more muscle!! I want to be fit, strong and sexy. Especially for my back…. being strong wll help the pain. I’m setting a goal for four weeks to reach this goal as much as possible by eating healthy and going to the gym almost everyday.

I’m going to use this tumblr as a journal to record what I eat, when I eat, and how it makes me feel. To try and figure out my triggers so I can avoid them. Also - I want to journal about how working out makes me feel. I think posting here will not only motivate myself and help me to understand my body and mind better but also to inspire others to make this change from probably one of the most complicated diseases out there. I know how you feel … it is a challenge to say the least.

GOALS:

1- keep updated on daily journal entries.

2 - eat healthy!! you know how to do it.. and the more you do it the more you crave healthy food.

3 - eat on schedules. BREAKFAST (200 cal) - 8 or 9. Snack (100 cal).. 11. Lunch (300 cal) 12:30 - 2.. Snack (100 cal)..4… Dinner (300 cal).. 6… (optional snack (100 cal) 8) = 1000 - 1100 cal

4 - get into habit of going to gym everyday and take every opportunity to be active

5 - do more blogilates

6 - don’t snack for fun - banish the thought of just one bite… its never the case.

7 - rewards… week one of sticking to goals… new pants… week two.. body chain.. week three.. lipgloss… week four.. PIERCING!!! you can do thissss

8 - meditate.. practicing relaxing!!! anxiety is the cause of my binging I know it.

9 - try new things and keep busy with other focuses like reading and guitar

10 - you want to be sexy and confident.. you want to be proud of whats in the mirror OK!!!!!!

You have the same number of hours in the day as any other girl that has the body you want. This choice is up to you. Its your choice to wake up instead of sleep in. Its your choice to eat something youll enjoy for only a minute. You can do this girl. YOU WILL DO THIS. 

DO

NOT

GIVE

UPP

Ate 650 cals today… simply not hungry! grrr.

Went for a run and did some exercises despite being exhaustedddd from my chiro appointment. Off to Whistler tomorrow for partaay time!

oxox

Fell into an extreme binge. But it’s because I had no sleep.. :( Going through these drug withdrawals is brutal and I can’t be so hard on myself for screwing up. Tomorrow I am starting Day 1 of my Ten Day Challenge to jumpstart the cause….

PLANS FOR TOMORROW:

-tomorrow morning I’ll wake up and go on an hour long brisk walk to start my day.

-if i feel hungry… eat oatmeal with cinnamon only.. NO STEVIA (new experiment)

(110 cal)

-go to appointment for back (should boost my mood!)

-if i’m hungry.. have tea and egg whites with gluten free toast (130 cal)

-dentist appt (mmm minty)

-20 min jog! ask mum to come along?

-clean room

-total body sculpt video!

-plans with friends may include dinner? (salad only)

-sit ups before bed and meditate

:)

Finished in at about 1000 cals again. Really easy. Just keep smiling, keep busy and it’s super easy! Just stop thinking about food and save up some snack time for just before bed and you’re fine girly! Keep going! xoxo

Today I clocked in at about 1000 calories plus about 200 calories burned at the gym. I felt so happy today. Just knowing that I’m making a change for the better… and to shift my focus off of food and regaining control of my life makes me so happy. I can be me again… not a girl who lives for food. Times I noticed that I want to go eat are when I’m bored or even feeling a little stressed. Just need to tell myself I’m doing it for me. And I’m doing this because I love myself and the feelings melt away. I can do this :)

I’m back into a vicious cycle of binge eating. I’ve used it as a way to cope with all the crazy stuff in my life. I want to stop this.. not to be skinny.. but to not let food control me. I want to be happy, healthy, and have something on my mind other than food. I want to be confident, energized and HAPPY with this new lifestyle of being active and eating healthy :) Tomorrow is day one. Just keep in mind.. the first week will be the hardest. I’m going to make it through. I am strong and beautiful and deserve to make this change for the better.

:)